blog

November 23

A new reality

Deep sigh....

I'm not sure where to even begin. I started this blog and website to give myself a way to share my music and my thoughts. For two months, it has served that purpose with decent success. I have loved being able to have an outlet for my music, and my voice.

The month of November brought me to the doctor where, after much testing, I receieved the news that I have Crohn's Disease.

This disease is not life-threatening. However, it is requiring me to change the way I think about a lot of things.

I used to be able to eat or drink whatever I wanted, and never get sick. I have never been prone to colds of the latest "bug." If all else failed in the world, you knew that you could depend on me and my health to carry us through.

I would say "not now." but I am keeping a good mentail attitude, and I know that I am still the strong person inside. It just means I need to take this next 6 months to really focus on me, and how I am going to deal with this disease for the rest of my life.

Because of that, I can no longer commit to faithfully writing here on this blog, or adding new content to the site.

That doesn't mean I'm not still writing, because I am!!!

My hope is that, eventually, I will be able to come back full-time to my music and the voice that God has for me there.

But until that time, I will not have anything new on this site.

If you would like me to email you when I am back up and running, please send me a note and I will put it in a safe place and contact you once I am back here again.

Thank you for coming here and taking an interest in what I do. I hope that life continues to bless you, and that you will carry the message in your heart that you are "untainted."

Blessings to you

--pam

PS: I am now blogging about my life with Crohn's. I would be honored if you would join with me on that blog, for this time. You can find me at

http://newfoundsun.wordpress.com/

12:44 PM GMT | Read comments(0)

November 06

storms

Last night we had the most amazing storm roll through our area. It had all the qualities of a really awesome event: high wind, pouring rain, thunder, and of course, lightning. I love a storm like that. I love the just sit and listen to the wind rush through the trees, and the rain pound down onto the earth. But last night, the most amazing part of the storm was the chorus of God's percussion up in heaven. I was sound asleep in bed when all of the sudden a monster of a thunder-clap exploded right over our house. This wasn't just some little bang. NO! It shook our house, rattled the windows, and filled the air with it's tremendous noise that didn't just end quickly, but continued for about 5 seconds before fading off into the night. I lay there in bed with eyes wide, wondering how on earth something like that could happen and yet no one is hurt. The immense power containted there almost blew me away. I thought back, and realized it had been in my childhood when I last heard a thunderclap that big.

I guess that God just wanted to remind me last night of his power, his might, and yet his tender care for me. Just like when I was a child and heard thunder, God wrapped me in his arms last night. And he reminded me that, just as then, he was going to take care of everything. Yes, he is the maker of heaven and earth, and can make both tremble at a simple command. Yet, he loves me deeply and dearly, as only a Father can. And he will never fail me.

Pretty cool, huh?

Oh, and also what comes to mind? His awesome power is for me, and he will unleash it in my favor if I just ask.

WOW!!!

Stay safe,

--pam

10:09 AM GMT | Read comments(0)

October 24

words

I am wanting to write this morning, but my words haven't woken up yet! I'd like to say that something profound is just on the tip of my tongue....but it's not. It's a lazy Saturday morning at our house, where we snuggle, catch up on cartoons, and just generally do nothing. Later we will be going to the thrift store to make our Halloween costumes. That should be fun! But for right now, only one other person in the family is up, and it's still a bit dark outside. So, I sit here, doing....not a whole lot. And it feels great! I'm glad to have these days where I can relax, and be refreshed. I hope your day gives you some rest as well.

Blessings,

--pam

7:41 AM GMT | Read comments(0)

October 21

faith is....

I'm currently in the middle of a bible study about faith. In it we are being challenged not about believing IN God, but simply....Believing God. I woke up last night, and it was one of those rare nights where I just couldn't shut my brain off. You know the ones....you get up, you go back to bed, you get on the computer, you go back to bed, and in the end you lay there in bed with eyes wide open staring at the wall hoping that sleep will overcome you soon. Yep, that was my night last night. At one point in time as I lay there, I started to think about faith, and where my faith is. I know a few things. For one, I DO NOT doubt God and his provision for our lives. I have absolute certaintity in my heart that He will take care of us, regardless of the situation. That being said, I still ponder and yes sometimes fret over finances, as most humans do. So last night I asked myself, "why am I worried?" The answer I am still mulling over. But in short...I trust God, yes. It is humans that I have a problem with. Now, that might sound a bit harsh, but think about it. We know that everyone on this earth will disappoint us at some point in time or another. And if our faith is only in those people around us, they are going to fail and we are going to get hurt. But if we put our trust in God IN THEM, and have faith that all things work for His will, then do we have a reason to worry? Should we fret? For me....I'm getting there. I know that my faith in God is secure, yet I still don't live in the fullness of life that He designed me for. So somewhere in my heart, do I have a lack of faith? It's hard to say, but....is there a part in me that has trouble believing God? Hmmmm.......

No, I do believe God. I believe his promises. He has given me no reason to doubt them, or Him. I think what trips me up is the fatalistic flaw I have inside of me. It's one that I struggle with even this day. It's one that, as I continue with this study, I will continue to surrender and ask that God "help me in my unbelief."

I want to live to the fullest that God has for me. Nothing less will suffice. Life with God means examining the hard things in your heart. It means surrendering those things we hold onto. I've given a lot of things up to Him. But there is always more. There are always more layers that He wishes to peel away from us. It's not to harm us, but simply to draw us closer in relationship to him.

I'm willing.

Are you?

--pam

9:17 AM GMT | Read comments(0)

October 14

rainy days

There's nothing quite like a rainy day in Western Washington. The rain comes down, and down, and down, and never seems to stop. It's grey outside. And there is a chill in the air. You wait to go outside until the rain stops, but then realize that it probably won't stop anytime soon, so you might as well go out and get wet anyway! Some people absolutely hate this time of the year- not seeing the sun for days on end gets to them. Not me. I love the rain. I love the sound of it on the roof as I sit quietly looking out the window. I love the smell it gives everything around us. I even love the wetness! There's just somthing about the rain pouring down on us that excites me. Maybe it's knowing that the rain will make things grow later in the year. Or maybe it feeds my inner hermit that wants to stay indoors, snuggled in a blanket reading a good book. :)

Or maybe it's knowing that God gave us such a simple thing as rain, because he knew exactly what we would need, and when.

We often take the rain for granted, and grumble and complain when we have to get wet.

The next time it rains, I want to challenge you to this:

Imagine that each rain drop is a promise of God.

You can never count them all

They soak you to the core

They feed you

and make you grow

They make you new

You never know exactly what one looks like

But you know the sound of it in your heart

It's a blessing from God

From your Father

His promises, his blessings,

Are the abundant rain

That never ends.

--pam

1:35 PM GMT | Read comments(0)

untainted music